Saturday, 19 May 2012

A Fateful Meeting - Harbull is hungry


Already Harbull's stomach was rumbling its disapproval at going so long without food. Back home he would have already been at second breakfast by now. His feet had quickly grown used to traveling, but his belly... not so much.
He thought to himself that this human woman who had saved them would be awfully cute if she was just a bit more plump... and if she'd stop getting his name wrong...

"Hey Werner, how about we scare up some bread? maybe some cheese?... I saw a man with a basket of fruit yesterday at the docks so there must be fruit here somewhere... and some milk would be good... and eggs... if we're extra lucky there might even be some meat somewhere to be had!"

Then he heard the bellowing of the town crier... and the excitement in Werner's voice about the possibility of work...

"OK, sure Werner, 'repossession'... kinda vague but it's a prospect... and we need to eat, yeah? This Oldenhaller sounds rich, maybe they'll offer us something to eat huh?... oh and if we happen to pass a cheese shop on the way there we... HEY! IS THAT AN ELF?!!!"

Harbull trotted over to Malmir.

"HI! ARE YOU AN ELF? I'VE NEVER MET AN ELF BEFORE!"

Harbull took a deep breath...

"My name is Harbull! HAR-BULL... H-A-R-B-U-L-L... Are you a REAL Elf? I had a cousin we used to call 'Elf', but that's just because he was tall, and my aunt yelled at us and told us not to call him names... not that 'Elf is such a bad insult, I'm not saying that... and my mother said that a boy shouldn't be pestered about things his mother had gotten herself up to when she shouldn't have... what do Elves eat? Are you coming with us to eat at this Oldenhaller's house, I heard... I think there might be fruit there... my friend Werner, he's big and strong yeah?, he thinks this job sounds like a good chance too... Do Elves really have tails and eleven fingers? (Harbull tried counting Malmir's fingers somewhat, kinda, surreptitiously... so as not to be rude)... Do Elves like cheese? How about fruit? My cousin, not the one we called 'Elf', he can't eat cheese... it makes him sick... what sort of halfling can't eat cheese?!!! We call him 'Milkball', HAH!... the cousin we called 'Elf' fell in a ditch and died, he was always an unlucky one... Hey! Are you a musician too?!!! Can you sing any Elf songs? What sort of thing do Elves sing songs about? I know a song about a sandwich but I've been told it's very rude and my brother told me not to sing it in 'mixed company'... do you dance a lot too? I heard Elves like to dance... A LOT! Why don't you wear your tail outside your clothing?... if I had a tail I'd be proud of it, put a bow on it, wave it around! (Harbull wiggled his bottom and spun around a few times)... Hey! YOU SMELL NICE!..."

Harbull took another deep breath... and asked the elf, "What's your name? Are you hungry?..."

Harbull slowly began to calm down... or maybe he was passing out from hunger... hard to tell.

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